in my experience.

have movies, songs, tv-shows, books, and other forms of entertainment skewed the view on relationships for many of the female form.

are females too picky when it comes to dating.

do females expect too much from males.

are females lazy when it comes to the dreaded world of dating.

do males put in all the effort when it comes to seeking an companion.

do males have a busy life that does not revolve around females.


I'm going to be quite frank. I am a female, so yes this is a bias approach on the subject, because I've never had the opportunity to experience what it is like be a boy. I have had the great pleasure of dating some fine lads and some not so fine lads.

the entertainment business is a business and well they are really good at attracting consumers. one way that they keep people sucked in is by having a "are they going to date or not?" question always floating around. a few that have drawn me in are: chandler and monica, miss bennett and mr. darcy, doctor who and rose tyler, ron and hermiony, jace and clary, katniss and gale/peeta, robert downey jr. and me... okay maybe not. anyway you know that moment when they first kiss, ratings skyrocket. the men are romantic and the women are lovely. they have the perfect scenarios. we want relationships like those, or so we think.                                                                                so yes it could be skewed a tad.

education about the type of person you want to find isn't being picky, it's being smart.

replace the word "picky" with the word "educated" or "smart"
women should be picky when it comes to dating. so should men. from my experience it is good to be picky. example one, I wasn't too picky with this guy, he was semi-attractive to me, he was an easy catch and I myself was an easy catch to him. we made each other laugh and both played soccer. I wasn't picky in reading the red flags that were personal to me. he told me that we would be getting married within the next six months after only dating for one, he told me that I would be the soul bread winner for the family, he would take care of the house and family, our family would be his family and my family was not to be included in much after the wedding because they travel too much, he surprised me with ring shopping after six weeks of dating, our wedding would mostly be about his sister because she has to have the attention, and lastly he got pissed at me for asking where the forks were. it lasted longer than it should because I didn't want to be that picky "princess" girl. so let's just say that relationship ended after only two months. I'm glad I was finally picky.

example two, years after the first, two best friends that knew so much about each other and still learned more everyday, attraction was mutual, both of us played hard to get for an appropriate amount of time. I had learned to pick up red flags and was constantly on the look out while slowly liking him more and more. everything fell in line, same ideas, similar interests, different enough to keep thing interesting. I was picky, but he had great qualities, still a break up happened and we don't see each other any more but it helped me learn the best thing I could've learned when it comes down to being picky.

well basically I'm happy with my dating life because of my "pickiness"

 a woman should have expectations when dating a man, as should a man have expectations when dating a woman.

the expectations should be chosen with a reason behind it, not just because.
examples:
educated with a good career - have a stable monetary life. good reason.
attraction - very important, to quote amy pond from doctor who...

"you know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're dull as a brick? then there's other people, when you meet them you think, "not bad. they're okay." and then you get to know them and... and their face just sort of becomes them. like their personality is written all over it. and they just turn into something so beautiful."

similar/different interests - doing things together is what brings people closer, like learning switch on a snowboard. but having different interests is just as important, ever heard of 'me' time.
laughing - it's a given, laughing is über important.
[insert personal quality - reason here]

it's a common known fact that when men and women court the man "should" ask the woman out. the man "should" pay. the man "should" do this or that. however, it does not make the woman lazy. so you think the customs are wrong, they aren't just talk to each other find what jives for both of you.

and males don't put in all the effort when it comes to finding a companion, when a girl goes up to talk to a boy. effort. when a girl suggests phone number exchange. effort. when a girl will drive out to your place to play video games or watch psych. effort. when a boy asks a girl out. effort. when a boy pays for dinner. effort. when a boy makes the first move. effort. it takes two.

yes yes yes a boy's life absolutely does not revolve around a girl. the girl should not expect it to.
boys have jobs. boys have school. boys have family. boys have friends. boys have alone time.
girlies get a job. girlies go to school. girlies spend time with the family. girlies plan a girl's night. girlies it is okay to take some alone time. most girls know this I know. I'm just saying it simply because we forget. AND BOYS... the reverse applies to you too.

kiss me like you mean it.

these are stories for the girls. boys, you probably won't care.


so I've had couple first kisses in my life that were less then spectacular, only later to find out that the boy is actually pretty talented.

I wanted to graduate high school being VL president. it was important back then. I was successful.

my very first kiss was when I was 18, so only a few years ago, actually less than three, and it was cheesy to the max. I still enjoy divulging in the story when someone asks to hear it.  freshman Bill, as my family refers to him, I'll explain.  to set the scene we have to go back a few days before it happened, Bill and I went to the Deseret Industries and we were cuddling on one of the ugly $20 couches after we had workshop together, we were showing each other "our moves" we used to flirt with people of the opposite sex. that was it, I went home, still never been kissed. Bill took me on a date a few days later where we went to the magical north canyon park. ended up star gazing on the grass, the conversation was easy, the cuddling was comfortable.  suddenly he turned and looked at me and said "how about this for a move?" without hesitation he just planted one on me, it was wet, warm, and weird. the first words I muttered after were "I'm not VL anymore" and neither was he, we were each other's first kiss. cute. he is freshman Bill because I was a year into college and he was a junior in high school, it got exaggerated to me being a senior in college and him being a freshman in high school.

I didn't really find what I preferred in style/technique until there was a boy who made it fun.

the reference that is used to this day is the boy who was my first new-years kiss, but it was a rocky start.  there was hesitation and uncertainty if it was okay, which is normal, but it was new-years. as our dating progressed he then made up for our crappy first kiss, there was talent, style, and something that I had never experienced before him, butterflies. he was mmm... good.

sometimes you just need to figure each other out right? wrong. there was a boy that we tried for a little while, sadly we just couldn't master each other. it didn't work out between us.

there is a boy who I dated for six/seven months and we still joke about how terrible our first kiss was, it made the record books, there was hesitation, awkwardness, and just plain ridiculous misalignment. he tops the stack of good kissers, right by the reference. every time since the first that we locked lips I could feel how much each one meant to him. it was so tangible that you could cut it with a knife.

now for a boy who has my favorite first kiss story, it was simple, he walked me to my car, placed his hand on my cheek with his fingers on the back of my neck and pulled me in for a simple, sweet, perfect length kiss. that's how you kiss a girl like you mean it.

now for a boy who took what he wanted and I was okay with it, because (swear word). it was after a long night of flirting we finally had some alone time. saucy. cuddling on the couch, hand holding, teasing, all of the signs were there that he was going to kiss me. he didn't. I almost broke and went for it myself, but I've never initiated a first kiss. finally I decided it was time to go home, we were walking to his front door and before I could open it he turned me and literally shoved me up against door and just took what he wanted, and (swear word) it was a good first kiss. he is right up there with mr. awkward and the reference, the three are tied. he really knows how to kiss a girl like he means it.

the (texting) sentence stopper is always a fun one. one of my really good guy friends (cliche) and I were chilling at his apartment talking about our love lives. I was texting a few boys during the conversation. he, what I thought was jokingly, said that I have too many boys and that I should just date him, I laughed and told him that he doesn't have the guts to kiss me let alone date me. this all being said while I was looking at my phone texting two different guys, he grabbed my face in both hands, like in the movies, and kissed me. the kiss caused me to drop my phone and forget what I was even talking about. he kissed his way out of the friend zone.